How To Deal With a Break Up

how to deal with a break up

Dealing with things after they’re over is the first step to moving on.

How to deal with a breakup is a sensitive matter. This is where you’re at your lowest and most fragile point. You’re susceptible to a lot of positive and negative things, hence it’s better to suck up on as much positivity and light as you can.

Regardless if you are the one who left or you are the one left behind, the pain of breaking up is something that is extremely and indescribably painful. In the end, it does not matter who’s to blame and what went because all it boils down to is the reality that everything is over and done. Despite the fact that the relationship has finally come to an end, there is still no reason for you to look at life that bitter and sour. It is difficult to cope with a breakup but you need to gather yourself and make a new start in your life. Yes, the element of love is now lost – for the meantime. Breaking up hurts and it is really hard, it is something you have never thought and imagined coming but it’s over. Embrace it and learn how to deal with the break up.

Tip # 1 – Cry a river, nothing is wrong with that

It hurts for sure, so it’s absolutely okay to cry. You are only human and nothing is wrong with crying even if you are a man. Hey, serious breakups does not discriminate gender. Man or a woman, once your partner call it quits, embrace the pain and the let the tears start falling. You see, crying is the initial and most effective step that helps you accept the situation. So, get your hanky or tissue, find a comforting place in your own room and cry a river in one fell swoop.

Tip # 2 – Stop blaming yourself

There is no point why you have to blame yourself. If you continue doing it, you are only making things hard for you to accept. The best thing that you can do is to think of why and what made either of you decide to part ways. Of course, it is not only you who have done wrong. As the old adage goes “It takes two to tango.” This means both of you have your own set of faults that resulted to the breakup. By thinking about the issues that brought to the end of the relationship, you would have a better understanding on why you have to break up. With a clear reason in mind, it would be easier for you then to move on and deal with the breakup lightly.

Tip # 3 – Forget about calling him again

While the hurt is still there and you know that the pain is still inside you, stop thinking about picking up the phone and pressing his number. Never ever think about doing this. It would be harder for you to get rid of those feelings if you continue to reach out to him. He might even drive you away, which can make hurting more intense for you.

Tip # 4 – Spend some time alone

When spending time alone has been suggested, it does not mean that you should lament and lock up in your room listening to silly love songs while reminiscing about the good times that you had. No, it doesn’t in any way mean that! You need to spend time alone so that you can think about what you want and think of plans to make your life better. Stop reliving the memories of a relationship that has already ended. Instead, look forward with a more cheerful disposition on where life will lead you after this. You have to make plans and start afresh – and what better time than now?

Tip # 5 – Deal with the hate aspect positively

Feelings of hatred may come. It’s a natural reaction. However, you should learn to deal with the hate aspect in a different way that will not be destructive to you. Thinking about throwing all the things that remind you of him? When you are ready to do it, instead of saying “I hate you” as you throw each of these things, replace it with saying “I love myself.” As a result, you will realize that you need to love yourself more, as opposed to the toxic that fixating on the hatred you have for your ex brings.

Tip # 6 – Go out and have fun

Now is the time to go out of your comfort zone. Join your friends and participate in social activities. Watch a movie or join parties and anything that spells fun with others. Cherish each and every moment that you have with your friends. If you are having fun with friends, you will no longer have time to think about the relationship that you have lost.

Tip #7 – Let go

Let go of the negative emotions and the desire to hold on to the relationship. Embrace the reality that it has ended. The sooner you accept the fact that you have broken up, the easier it would be for you to move on and continue to love yourself more.

Breaking up is not easy – at first. But knowing how to deal with a breakup will help you get by and survive the pain that comes with it. Cheer up! Have fun! The world is waiting for you.


More on – How To Get Over a Break Up

Relationships come and go – kudos if your first love turns out to be your forever. When one thing ends, it’s better to stop prolonging the agony and move on.

How to get over a breakup and move on with your life is the next abused topic when it comes to relationship – next to sex. Perhaps, most people who have been into this kind of situation would agree that breaking up with someone is one of the most difficult things that they have ever experienced. But when time comes that things are just not working out anymore, it’s better to get out of the turmoil and end it right there and then. If you are the one who’s been dumped, this is for sure something that you are not prepared, right? By no means, it is an easy goal, but learning how to get over a breakup is much easier than continuously living in an unhealthy relationship filled with apprehensions and betrayal.

Getting over a break up is something that occurs to all individuals. However, the process on how to get over a breakup differs from one person to another. It also depends on the type of the relationship and how deep it has become especially for long-term relationships. For instance, an individual might find it easier to get over a second failed relationship or easier on the third one, but certainly find it very excruciating to get over a breakup with the first real and serious relationship he or she had.

You might have heard somewhere that one of the easiest ways on how to get over a breakup is to return or discard all the stuff that reminds you of your ex. Some people even went as far as returning each and every gift that they received just to indicate that the relationship has really ended. The more things that you keep with you reminding you of your ex-partner, the harder it will be for you to take them out of your mind. The relationship is finally over, so what are you waiting for, go gather all those stuffs and throw them away. If you do not want to throw them away, you can give some of the stuffs to somebody else, or you can just give them back to your ex as your formal means of ending the relationship.

What are you doing inside your room crying when it’s nearly a week after the breakup? The pattern of depression and wallowing and on how they cope up with the breakup differs from on person to another. True, the fact that a person who’s practically been your life cut you from his or hers is not an easy reality to face. But, in the long run, crying over something that’s already over is pointless. You can mourn, wallow and be completely hollow inside after the breakup but you must not pause your life for someone.

Average pattern after a breakup goes like this:

Day one, bawl, wail, cry your heart out. You deserve it, so indulge in it. Break things or break down. It’s better to let it all out than keep it in. Besides being unhealthy for you, there’s always the possibility that one tiny slip and you could break down in public.

Day two, fix your self. You’ve had your day or night of crying; it’s time to get on with life. It won’t be easy but that’s life. Fix your makeup, go to work, do your normal routines, but nobody’s expecting you to be gay and merry so don’t force yourself. Besides, second day after a breakup is usually the calm after the storm as some would say. You’d mostly be feeling numb and void of any emotional other than that throbbing feeling inside.

Day three, the pain starts to fester all the more. This is when reality starts to sink in that it’s finally over and that, that person is gone from your life. From this day on, it won’t be easy. You’ll be dealing with depression, anger and pain.

Day four an onwards, you need to start planning your future. The rate of how fast you can get over a breakup depends on your self-resilience, the amount of support you have and your confidence. People who wallow and pity themselves will most likely end up still alone and bitter after a year.

There was really no reason to map it all out but that’s the reality of it. By the way, when we’re talking about relationships here, I don’t mean the fuck-buddy kind or shallow type of partnership. Emotions are invested here, so real pain is felt.

No matter how fast or long you fell in love with that person, there’s no shortcut or easy way of getting over that person. It’s sad but true. You have to go through the whole process of accepting the reality of it, letting go, moving on and healing. Your most essential ally here is time. You can’t expect to be over someone in a week of crying.

Careful of rebound, love. These are echoes of the emotions you felt for your ex. Notice that when you’re in a rebound relationship with someone, you try to rebuild some of what you had.

Your friends and your work will be your best diversions. It’s impossible not to think about your already-over relationship but if you keep your mind busy, you won’t spend so much time being depressed or wallowing. Discover your real interest and make it your hobby. Get yourself constantly occupied so that you would be left with no time to lament over that failed relationship and keep you away from thinking that you are dumped by your ex-partner. The less time you spend thinking about the failed relationship, the easier it will be for you to get over it once and for all.

Also, after breakups, it’s a common reaction for the dumped party to become self-centered. This can go the positive or negative way. If you’re the strong and smart type, you should try getting a complete overhaul – physically, emotionally and mentally. It works so effectively especially in the confidence department.

Also, try to avoid getting bitter. Life’s too short and beautiful to hate on someone. If he or she is to blame for the failure of the relationship, forgive him or her. Besides, it takes two to build a relationship; and I still think it takes two as well to end it. Although, one is more or less the main root of the problem, the other still has a contribution to it.

Learn from your experience but don’t try to recreate what you had before. In a relationship, it’s sad if all you get out of it are orgasms. Incorporate all lessons you’ve learned and grow up. I’m sure the next one will be better – if not amazing.

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