You can search high and low but you still won’t be able to find any good way to break up. Why? Because there’s no easy and good way on how to breakup with your boyfriend.
How to breakup with your boyfriend without inflicting too much pain, is possible. It’s a realistic goal compared to aiming for a painless breakup. Seriously, how can there be no pain when someone who promised to always be there for you, suddenly decides he’s got an important agenda somewhere else. Best way to go about breaking up with him, is to not make it any harder and painful than it should be. I’m talking Facebook status update proclaiming to the world that it’s over between you, is the kind of insensitive and stupid way of breaking up with your boyfriend.
Just as there’s no perfect relationship, there’s no perfect way of the breakup business. Also, just because you don’t want to hurt him by calling it off, doesn’t mean you should suffer through the relationship as well. If it’s over, then it’s over. Call it off with him.
There are no innocent victims in a relationship. It takes two to build a relationship. If you feel like you’ve done everything you can to make it work yet still failed, then it’s time get your head straight, brace yourself and walk away.
The person has been a significant part of your life. No matter how small the amount of good times the relationship may have, it’s still something to look back on and enough reason for you not to taint those good memories by bitterness and pain. If you’ve accepted that it’s over, make him accept it as well. Don’t let him go on thinking that it’s still bright and daisy between you; or curse you in all languages when you call things off with him insensitively.
Speak with your boyfriend personally. Yes, today is the advent of email, SMS and phone calls. However, it is more appropriate to break up face to face. This would not only bring ultimate closure to both parties but also shows maturity and respect. Doing it on Facebook even if via message or chat, still spells silly and immature.
Send your message across clearly. In order to get proper closure, all questions must be answered. Both parties should sit down and calmly talk about what went wrong. Never try to cover things up or play things down. Say things as they are. Explain why it’s over and that indeed it really is over. He might mistake it as a cool-off period – or worse, a joke.
Be honest about your intentions. Do not ask for a cool-off when what you actually want is to end the relationship and think about beginning a new relationship with another person. Let him know the truth so that he will not wait and cling to any false promises. You’re preventing that person from moving on with his life.
Avoid clichés. Personally, if a guy tells me the “It’s not you, it’s me” crap that works for some, I’d kick him in his balls so hard he can say goodbye to any progeny thoughts. Come on, for someone who’s been a part of your life, you owe them so much more than a clean and tidy cliche picked up from some chick flick. The relationship was personal, so at least make an effort to avoid any generalized explanation.
Make the meeting. Do not spend a long time talking because it will only make the breakup longer. It may even fire up more misunderstandings and serious arguments. The longer you stay, the more that you are torturing him and yourself as well.
Be firm with your decision. Once you have dropped the bomb, there are different emotions that may crop up. Whatever it is, be firm with your decision.
Friends can be lovers but old lovers can’t be friends. Yes, some old lovers do become friends – but after a period of healing has passed. But not all lovers do end up becoming friends. Others still hold resentment, some just lose touch, and a few just don’t care about you anymore.
Once you’ve come to a decision, call things off with your friend as opposed to prolonging the inevitable – you’re cheating the both of you a chance of real happiness. Just remember to part as friends. It’s childish to pretend the other person doesn’t exist when it’s over. Still, adhere to the no contact rule for awhile. Give yourselves room to heal and move on.