How to breakup with someone? At some point in your relationship, you must have encountered that question. I don’t believe that a perfect relationship exists. Even the craziest in love couples have their low points which make them consider breaking up. If you’re one of those considering breaking up with someone, think it over. And then think it over again. Sometimes, the smallest issue is magnified by a number of factors, usually born out of personal issues – paranoia, insecurity, obsessions. But then there are times that things are just not the same anymore which makes you consider calling things off.
When you get really tired of what is happening with your relationship, you would always think about letting go of it. It is easy to say but doing the first move to actually break up with someone is a very tough task to carry out. Indeed, matters of the heart are complex things. It would leave you feeling entirely clueless on how to let go of someone whom you fell in love with way back.
Now, if you are among those who are struggling with issues on how to break up with someone, you should not allow those intricate thoughts to further any longer because it may lead you into an emotional mayhem that you may not be able to handle for a long time. You do not want to be in that situation, so perhaps the best thing that you can do is start conveying the message across and let go of the relationship as soon as possible.
Yes, it may seem too demanding and very difficult to do but once you have it in your mind that things are not working out and the relationship has become unhealthy, then it is time to put an end to it. Keep in mind that once you entertain the idea of calling it quits with your partner, then more or less the relationship is already over. Otherwise, why have such thoughts in the first place if everything is all bright and peachy? Don’t hold on to the relationship just because of all the great moments and sweet memories of love and intimacy. Turning a blind eye on the fact that things are falling apart will only lead to greater pain for the both of you. Hey, you know that there is a reason why you have to end it, right? Calling it off doesn’t really put a stop to the feelings you may have for your partner, but it’s wiser to put a stop to something which you know might end up worse. Call it off and walk away with grace, both your head and pride held high.
When ending a relationship there are some don’ts that you have to keep in mind. Keep in mind these essential elements when you are thinking of to break up with someone gracefully.
- Don’t say hurtful words.
- Don’t allow your emotions to control you.
- Do not make it too embarrassing for you and for the other person as well.
A lot would agree that being on the side who wants to end the relationship is far more arduous than being the one to receive the news. It is normal to go through the roller coaster of emotions you’re bound to ride while thinking of ways to calling it quits. But once you have made up your mind that things are not the way they were before, that the relationship is not working out and will never work out, stop right there and avoid the walk down memory lane thinking “what ifs” and reliving the good memories. It’s not wrong to think about the good things but once the bad side outweighs the good stuff and the relationship is literally causing you pain, then hold on to that decision and not let melodrama and foolish sentimentality sway your mind. This would be enough for you to move on and break the news to the other person.
So, you want to break up with someone? Do it personally. True, we exist in modern times and enjoying the benefits of technology but let’s not include breaking someone’s heart in our auto email software or through SMS. Although there are mobile and landline phones that you can use to convey the message with less discussions and arguments, a face to face encounter is still a much better choice. It is one way of respecting a person whom you came to love and have been with for some time. Breaking up with your partner personally shows maturity as well as proper grace. The meet-up would also serve as a venue to clarify things between the both of you and tie all loose ends, affording you both a proper closure.
Tell the other person honestly why you decided to call it quits. However, avoid the pointing-finger routine. Playing the blame game will only result to further discussions and arguments. Something you should dare let happen especially if you no longer want to be with the person for a long time. Arguments and further discussions are just a waste of time at this point.
Choose a private place to break the news. Unless you’re one of those who just love drama and the attention, avoid crowded places. Do you really want people staring at you like you’re some sitcom minus the pop corn? Mind you, the world is actually very small, someone is bound to know either of you, and before you know it, the gossip vine is reach with talks about two losers breaking up in the cafe or in a restaurant. Play it safe by choosing a private place to deliver the news since you can never tell how the other party would react.
Give your partner the chance to say what he or she wants to say. You both are in the relationship, so it goes that it’s not only you who has something to say. Giving the other party a chance to digest the news, and giving him a chance to say his piece will help clarify some issues of the relationship.
Learn to control your emotions and feelings. Depressed reactions are normal and so are tears, it should not move you and keep you away from your stand on ending the relationship.
How to break up with someone is never easy, worse for a relationship that has been through so many ups and downs and is filled with a lot of laughter and happy memories. But if you have really made up your mind to end the relationship, the least you can do is to end it with a sense of dignity.
How to break up in a nice way?
There’s never any good in goodbyes – but you can always make sure not to inflict any more pain than necessary.
How to breakup and then be friends with your ex-partner? Aside from sounding off, I just don’t get the need to get into the friend zone immediately. You can go about the whole breakup thing nicely, yes, but don’t expect to be all chummy with your ex-partner right after. If that were the case, then either you both really weren’t in love or there are mind games in the work right there – you know, getting your ex back. But that’s for another article. Anyway, when breaking up with someone, don’t trample over their emotions more by being this complete insensitive fool, blaming him or her for everything including the US debt, or by going through the whole thing in a noncommittal/waste-of-time kind of way. Come on, the person has been a part of your life; he or she needs more than a text or a call or a status update on Facebook.
You can be friends with your ex, but again, this is usually a case to case basis. Depends entirely on the kind and level of relationship you had. You can’t jump right ahead in the friendship wagon after getting off the relationship one. Give each other time to heal. By breaking up with your partner nicely, you’ll be assured that friendship is still possible after. I think it’s sad and a waste of something and everything if you cut off ties with the person. If you can salvage a friendship out of a relationship, then do so by learning how to breakup in a nice way.
Most breakups are not mutual decisions. Most of the time, it is one person leaving the other because no two lover mutually separate in the most typical situations. However, there are other cases where both parties are frustrated with each other’s wayward and careless behavior. Now, considering that you are the one dumping the other, you have to make sure that you would not hurt your partner more with hurtful words. The mere fact that you are breaking up would give him pain to a great degree already. No need to pour salt to the wound, as you could say. Because of this, you have to think carefully and prepare yourself for the subsequent torment that will happen once you are done saying the ear-deafening words “I sincerely feel that this is the time to end this romantic relationship.”
If you have been in a long term relationship with that person, perhaps you know very well the way he or she thinks. From there, it would be easier for you to tell your partner that the relationship is not working anymore and that if you insist on pushing it longer, it may make things more disastrous for the both of you. When you say this, you have to use the language that he or she is at ease with. For example, if he or she is a very emotional person, you have to be dull and not too emotional when you express your desire to break up. You have to make sure that you will break the news in such a way that he will not feel that you consider him as a bad person. If you still want to have a good friendly relationship with that person, you need to make sure that everything that you will say will not have a negative implication on his or her personality.
When ending a relationship, you have to do your best that your partner gets the message straight-up that it’s over between you both, without being brutally frank and insensitive. The message as well as how you relay it to him or her matters a lot when you’re thinking of breaking up with someone nicely. You have to clearly express your but in a gentle way. Do not say words that hint you are blaming your partner for why the relationship is not working out.
You have to be the one who needs to be understanding because you are the one breaking up. You may start by emphasizing on the problems which you think and feel the relationship is going through. Tell him that you feel it is better to move on for the simple reason that the relationship is heading nowhere. As you go along, it would be ideal to stick and be firm with your decision and to not be affected with the emotional outpour which is likely to come next.
Perhaps, the most ridiculous thing that you can ever do in your desire to end a relationship is to run away and leave suddenly without explanation. Yes, it would mean the end of a relationship but it would also mean end of everything including a possible friendship with an ex. If you want to keep him still as a friend, this is something that you should not even consider doing. It would not only break the relationship but also the trust, which is something you do not want to happen if you are aiming for a nice and clean break up.
While you are considering breaking up in the nicest possible way, you should also be prepared with the fact that the other person might be unwilling to make you a part of his or her life again even as a friend. Do not insist if this is the case. But still, do your best to say goodbye nicely. In time, the wounds will heal and who knows, he or she might still be the one to approach you and offer the friendship you want in the first place.