How to ask a guy out

how to ask a guy out

In high school, he nods at you. In college, he talked to you. In the streets, you exchanged digits. Now, you can either let that be the end of the story, or the start of something new. Your call – literally.

How to ask a guy out can come off as impossible and too intimidating for a lot of women, for a number of reasons. Going after the guy you like is one of the challenging pursuits women face, especially for the traditionalists. If you want to be like Cinderella dusting in the cellar all day waiting for your guy to come on a white horse, yeah, good luck on the waiting. A woman product of the modern times, dusts the cellar while calling the guy on the phone and asking if he’s interested for a second date. Once you figure out which type you are and want to be, everything goes easy from there.

Society and nature dictates that it should be the man who does the first move. Before all you feminists and liberals pounce for my throat, let me finish that thought by saying that in the dating game, it’s always the traditionalists who finish last. If the society frowns on you making the first move, have the last laugh by ending it with a fairytale story.

Traditionalist or not, if you’re interested in someone, you can always drop a few hints. If the feeling is mutual, he’ll pick up on those hints and ask you out himself before you do. When fate is just not doing its part and making life a tad bit difficult for you, then a girl’s gotta do what she’s gotta do.

Chivalry is almost dead; if you’re lucky to bump across your Sir Lancelot, hold on him tight and never let go. Question is, will you be able to catch his attention? Much more, ask him out for him to actually find out how awesome you are?

Be Confident

If you don’t have confidence in yourself, then it’s raining in Mars before you’ll ever get the courage to ask him out. Think, you’re smart, young and beautiful – what’s not to love? If he doesn’t see it, it’s his lost since someone’s bound to see it.


Women are born to flirt and tease men – maximize them to their full potentials. If you still haven’t mastered the art of flirting, I made a separate article of it. Some guys won’t admit it, but they crave the woman’s attention like a fat kid craves his cake. Laugh, make him see you’re enjoying his company and compliment him.

Be Direct

To avoid any misconstrued messages or waste time over mixed signals, hand it to him straight. Especially if you started as friends, make clear to him that you want to get out of the friend zone and date him instead. Be as direct and clear to him as you can. Sometimes, a guy can be pretty slow and dumb in this department.

Find Common Ground

It’s always nice to have something in common with the guy. And when you do find that, start off from there. Use it as leverage to get to know him better. Ask him about his interest and hobbies. And when you find something in common – movies, sports and other recreational stuffs, ask him to do it with you.

No matter how nerve-wracking asking a guy out is, always think of the possible outcome and plan ahead.

If he says no. Ah, what can you do but accept it. Avoid being rude and stomping out of the room like a kid denied her new pair of Barbie doll. Really, be classy enough to accept his decision graciously. Who knows, that might just be the one to trigger his interest. Anyway, you can always work on what you have at the moment – his friendship. Build it, nurture it and see what might come out of it – he will like you, or you will end up with a best buddy.

If he says yes. Wherever you plan on taking him, make sure that it’s going to be fun not only for you, but for him as well. Key point here is to enjoy it. Don’t bring him to a gallery or the movie – leave that to the third or fourth date. It is essential that you interact a lot with him during the first date. It’s preferable to bring him some place where there are a lot of people, just so you never ran out of something to talk about. Besides, with a lot of people there, you can always point out or share something funny to him. Keep him laughing all through it, it’s your ticket to second date – this time, he will be the one to ask for it.

In all these, remember to keep true to who you are. Never try to impress him by pretending to be someone you’re not. In the end, he won’t fall for you, but the character you created.

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